According to the wikipedia entry that I made up this morning:
Charlie Brown first fell in love with the Little Red-Haired Girl during a school lunch period on November 12, 1963 saying, “I’d sure like to eat lunch with that little red-haired girl…”[1] Although he first catches sight of her during the November 19, 1961 strip, saying he would “give anything in the world if that little girl with the red hair would come over and sit with me.”[2]
The fourth Peanuts animated TV special, You’re in Love, Charlie Brown, revolved entirely around Charlie Brown’s obsession with the Little Red-Haired Girl. Throughout the entirety of You’re in Love, Charlie Brown, the Little Red-Haired Girl is not seen once. After several failed attempts at making conversation with her on the last two days of school, she stuffs a note into Charlie Brown’s hands as students rush past him to board the school bus. Thinking he has ruined his final chance at meeting her, he reads the letter, which states, affectionately enough, “I like you, Charlie Brown. Signed, the Little Red-Haired Girl.” Ecstatic, Charlie Brown skips his way home, imagining he has triumphed against what he considers all odds.
But when Charlie Brown gets home, while eating milk and cookies he sees that the back of the letter says “Don’t call me, Charlie Brown; forget about all the emails I sent, and don’t send me any txt messages, or even look in my direction. And you can forget about the TV On The Radio concert I invited you to, Charlie Brown. If you ever want to see me again, you will forget I ever wrote on either side of this note, Charlie Brown. Signed, the Little Red-Haired Girl.”
Charlie Brown is befuddled, but it doesn’t take him very long to figure out that trying to figure out what is really going through the head of the Little Red-Haired Girl is just not worth it. Charlie Brown wonders at first if he will ever understand how the Little Red-Haired Girl could give such mixed messages, but soon decides he’s far better off without any ties to someone who could have such a lack of empathy for others.
As a final gesture of friendship toward the Little Red-Haired Girl, Charlie Brown buys her a nice birthday card at a shop he knows she likes. When Charlie Brown leaves the shop to compose his thoughts for the birthday card, he sees that his car has been ticketed during the 5 minutes he was shopping. Charlie Brown smiles at the realization that the $20 fine is the Dummy Tax he has to pay for sending someone a nice birthday greeting who doesn’t deserve it and won’t appreciate it, but also at the realization that he likely just got off really cheap compared to the true costs of having any sort of fondness for the Little Red-Haired Girl.
Charlie Brown pays his parking ticket.
See you around, Little Red-Haired Girl. But not if you see me first.
